


On&On

by limjaeseven



Series: Verse 2 [3]
Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Actor Park Jinyoung (GOT7), Alcohol, Angst, Child Im Jaebum | JB, Child Park Jinyoung, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Sad Im Jaebum | JB, Sad Park Jinyoung (GOT7), University Student Im Jaebum | JB, University Student Park Jinyoung (GOT7)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:34:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29127276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limjaeseven/pseuds/limjaeseven
Summary: Jaebeom met Jinyoung when he was losing himself, and their friendship bloomed from there. But not everything is sunshine and daisies in life.Verse 2: Part 3 of 8
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Series: Verse 2 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2132364
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	On&On

Jaebeom doesn’t remember when his parents had told him about his condition, but somehow he always knew. It could have been the constant hospital visits, the scolding he received when he tired himself out too much or the endless stream of medicines he had been on for as long as he could remember.

He wasn’t allowed to go out a lot, his parents would later tell him that they almost never sent him to school because they didn’t expect him to make it that long. It was only after he begged them as a four year old, jealous to see all his friends going to kindergarten that they enrolled him.

Jaebeom was six when he met Jinyoung, with his big ears and perfect smile, the boy stole his heart the moment the elder laid his eyes on him. They were joint at the hip ever since, any time spent apart feeling weird. It was always the two of them together, if there was Jaebeom, there was Jinyoung and vice versa.

They were thirteen when Jaebeom finally accepted the severity of his condition but he made his parents promise to never tell Jinyoung. He knew even at that young age that it would hurt the boy. So they lived on, Jinyoung oblivious of Jaebeom’s worsening conditions, his hospital visits covered up as trips to meet his grandmother.

Jinyoung loved to run, Jaebeom’s condition didn’t, and despite knowing that he was slowly killing himself, he still indulged in racing the younger every opportunity he could get. He tried his best to not worry his mother but he knew that she was aware of what he did and though it hurt her, she also knew what Jinyoung meant to Jaebeom and so she let him be.

Jaebeom himself couldn’t describe what Jinyoung meant to him. He thought about it a lot, growing up. He thought about as he looked at Jinyoung panting heavily with his hands on his knees after running home from school. He thought about it as they laid on a thick blanket in Jinyoung’s backyard, staring at the stars. He wished he had a star up there for himself, when he was no more, so that he could look after Jinyoung no matter where he was.

Jinyoung couldn’t be put into words by Jaebeom, he was the most annoying, obnoxious, petty, beautiful, kind, caring and perfect human he had ever met but even that wasn’t enough to explain who Jinyoung was and why Jaebeom loved him so much. Sometimes he wondered if it was because he didn’t pity Jaebeom like his family and relatives did but even if he did, he didn’t think he could ever not love Jinyoung.

They were in high school when they had their first big fight. Jaebeom could never remember what it was about, but he remembered saying some horrible things to the younger, he remembered the tears that ran down his cheeks as he spewed words that he didn’t mean but felt right in the moment. He remember the hurt in the boy’s eyes as he looked at Jaebeom one last time before running away.

Alcohol was not good for Jaebeom’s condition, but he was eighteen and there was an endless supply of the stuff at his home, since his parents had picked it as their coping beverage of choice since Jaebeom’s diagnosis. He has few memories of those months, the ones he had were either of him struggling to stay awake in class or drowning himself in as much alcohol he could get his hands on.

Jinyoung avoided him like the plague for those months, his eyes not even daring to stay on Jaebeom for more than a second. It was as if they were strangers, as if they hadn’t spent the previous twelve years of their lives together. Jaebeom’s condition worsened a lot in that period, as he refused to see the doctor and continued drinking.

It was only after he had collapsed from the lack of sleep and intoxication that his parents had dragged him to the hospital, and been given the scolding of a lifetime when he found out he had easily taken away five years of his life in that short amount of time.

Five years, Jaebeom thought, five years that he could have spent with Jinyoung, with his parents had flowed away with the alcohol he consumed. He cried a lot after that visit, he apologised endlessly to his parents, he wrote endlessly about how much he regretted everything. But mostly he just spent it wallowing in the fear that Jinyoung would never want to see his face again over what he’d done.

It had been four months after their fight and two weeks after he stopped drinking that he knocked on Jinyoung’s door, all but collapsing into his arms when he saw the younger. He told him everything he went through, everything except his condition, and begged for the younger’s forgiveness. There was no way Jaebeom could live without Jinyoung, that much he knew well enough.

Jinyoung crumbled too quickly, he was weak and the four months had taken a toll on him too. He forgave Jaebeom without thinking twice and made him promise to never drink again, which Jaebeom happily did.

Jaebeom was told not to do a lot of things growing up, but he would do anything for Jinyoung. He didn’t care if it meant it would hurt himself, the only reason he regretted losing five years of his life was because Jinyoung would lose him too early, and it would hurt him more than he could imagine.

Jaebeom remembered their graduation day clearly, it was as if it had taken place only the day before. They were so excited, their parents smiling proudly as they started another chapter of their lives. Jaebeom would never forget the way Jinyoung smiled at him that day, not six months before was he afraid the boy would never want to see his face again.

They went to the same college, they shared a small apartment just off campus. Jaebeom didn’t expect to survive long enough to get into college but he did, and he was grateful for it. He did photography and film studies, adamant to capture the limited moments of his life through the lens of his camera. Mostly it was pictures and videos of Jinyoung, some taken without his knowledge, when he was cooking or sleeping or doing some other menial task around the house. He looked the most beautiful like that, Jaebeom thought, as just himself.

Then came the day when he was informed about his final project for his major, he had to present a film, one that would put to use the skills he’s learned. He remembered laughing to himself when his peers worried about finding a good topic. ‘Icarus’ he called it, based on the Greek legend.

His script almost wrote itself, Jaebeom penning his own story down as someone else’s. It was easy to convince Jinyoung to act in his project, the younger an acting major himself. It would be a good way to get his name out, hopefully one of the panellists would appreciate Jinyoung’s acting skills.

It took about three weeks to film the whole thing, Jaebeom recruiting his friend Mark to play the leading role alongside Jinyoung. It was hard not to cry at their acting sometimes, it was as if his own life was playing out in front of his eyes, and in some ways, it was.

He remembers Jinyoung bringing him food when he forgot to eat while editing the film, keeping him alive as the anxiety ate him inside out. The younger was by his side as he waited outside the main hall where his film would be screened, calming him down with soothing words.

Jinyoung didn’t see the final project that day, he only knew that one moment Jaebeom was nervously stepping into the hall, and the next he was stepping out, jumping up and down.

***

**YONSEI STUDENT’S PROJECT TO BE SCREENED AT SEOUL FILM FESTIVAL**

_Icarus, a final year project film made by film studies major Lim Jaebeom of Yonsei University has been selected to be screened at the 25 th Seoul Film Festival on the 16th of January. This is the first time in seven years that a film from Yonsei has been selected for SFF._

**Author's Note:**

> Any kudos and comments are much appreciated.


End file.
